How often does anyone get a second chance at life?
Ellen–Ellie–Krug got that kind of seond chance. After living five decades presenting as a self-absorbed man, she finally transitioned to her true self, an open and kind woman with a mission to change the world for the better.
Readers first learned about Ellie in 2013 when she published her coming out memoir, Getting to Ellen: A Memoir about Love, Honesty and Gender Change. That book, acclaimed for the quality of writing, details all the heartache that came from Ellie losing love and security and then discovering the joy of finally living as her true, female self.
Being Ellen picks up the story as Ellie goes forward on her womanhood journey. For more than a decade-and-a half, that journey has included keeping her heart open for others she lost and finding her chosen family centered around Thap, her best friend since eighth grade.
The ultimate question became what would Ellie do with her new life, her second chance?
As you’ll see, she made the most of it–which included becoming a national speaker on human inclusivity, a monthly columnist, radio/podcast host, and elected official. More importantly, her “second-chance story” is one of love, allyship, redemption and hope while living as her authentic, true self.
It’s a story for everyone, whether you are transgender or not. We all get second chances; it’s what you do with that second chance that makes all the difference.
Excerpts from Being Ellen: A Second Chance at Life
Excerpt at page 27;
Over time, I realized there was one more takeaway from Transgender 101.
After finishing the talk at a bar association office in Minneapolis, people approached me to ask questions they had been reluctant to raise in front of the larger group. Helen, my contact with the bar association, stood off to the side. When I finished with the last person in line, she came up to me with tears welling.
“I am so touched by what you shared, Ellie,” she said. “Your story and teaching about transgender people offers something for everyone. It’s a universal story about struggling to find ourselves, and it gives people hope.”
“Hope?”
“Oh yes, ‘hope.’ You’re showing that anyone can overcome the obstacles in their lives, no matter what they may be.”
I walked away thinking that perhaps Helen was right: Maybe my story, and the fact I was willing to show up simply as the real me, offered people some real hope.
Keep it up, Ellie. This is important stuff.
Excerpt at page 244:
Untethered.
That best describes how my journey as a woman–and as a small business owner, speaker/workshop presenter, author, radio/podcast host, columnist, and transgender human–had morphed. I had become a free agent, unencumbered by anyone’s love or a board of directors’ dictates. I was spinning along, discovering things I could never have imagined in my former life….
Part of the success came from how I often spoke about the goodness of humans. Indeed, I came to believe that almost all people–like ninety-eight percent–have good, empathetic hearts and sincerely care about others, even total strangers. I repeatedly saw proof of this with Gray Area Thinking® when I would ask, “Who here has ever contributed to help another human via GoFundMe or some other online giving tool?”
When I first added that question to the workshop, I expected maybe ten or twenty percent of the room to raise their hands. The actual result?
Almost always, between eighty and one hundred percent of the audience members responded with raised hands. This happened regardless of whether I was in deep-blue Minneapolis or bright-red Texas or anywhere else.
Why? Because online giving tools, like GoFundMe, provide the means–and an incredibley simple one at that–for someone to exercies their good, empathetic heart.
What Readers Say
★★★★★
“In a brand-centric age when true authenticity is in short supply, Ellie Krug’s raw rendering of her journey to become her true self is a breath of fresh air. Telling her story with equal parts intimacy, humor and heartbreak, Krug’s tale transcends the typical coming-of-age memoir and delivers a fearless tale that brings a dose of empathy to a politically divided world.”
–Reid Forgrave, author of Love, Zac: Small-Town Foortball and the Live and Death of an American Boy
★★★★★
“A rare look into love, family, and the challenge to live authentically from a writer with true heart.”
★★★★★
“While reading Being Ellen I was moved from tears to chills and back again. This is a story about many things, including second chances, chosen family, and the importance of compassion always. In an early scene, Ellen asks another character ‘Don’t you understand that humans must live authentically and whole, or they’ll die?’ This book illustrates the courage, heartache, and love involved with fighting to live authentically in a world that often resists without reason. I found myself folding into the story and its reminders of our shared humanity. Share this book with someone you love.”
Ellie’s Take
Shortly after I transitioned genders in 2009, I saw Brene Brown’s wonderful YouTube video on human vulnerability. It was the first time I had ever considered that vulnerability draws people together, rather being something that pushes them apart.
“Vulnerable” perfectly summed up what I had become by transitioning to the woman I had always been (but kept secret for decades). Being vulnerable–along with authenticity–would become hallmarks of my “misison work” as a speaker/workshop presenter seeking to change the world for the better.
As importantly, I realized how it was critical to keep my heart open to those I had lost (like my oldest daughter) because of transitioning genders. I had learned that over time, those who reject or turn away from transgender people often regret the rejection and then seek to return to the person they’ve rejected. I vowed to keep my heart open so that those folks could return to me, and so that love could once again thrive.
In writing Being Ellen, I hoped to show that transgender people are simply like everyone else–we want the same things in life and the freedom to just live as our true selves. Given where America is right now politically, the book is replete with examples of how non-transgender (“cisgender”) people came forward with love, allyship, and support to show that I mattered to them, and to the world at large.
I believe that Being Ellen offers a roadmap for spreading compassion and kindness to everyone, regardless of life station, status, identity or the thousand other things that separate us.
I hope you will agree!
ellie
beingellen.com 